College football season is finally back and there's loads of incompetence to go around on the coaching side of things as always! There's still one more day of football to go but here are the nominees so far for week 1:
The Right Reverend, Houston Nutt, Ole Miss - Hotty toddy gosh almighty who the hell are we? Hey! Flim Flam, Bim Bam, JAX STATE BY DAMN! Automatic under the Hawkins-Carr clause for losing at home to 1-AA Jacksonville State in 2OT 49-48!
Urban Meyer & Steve Addazio, Florida - For having only 25 yards of total offense including negative yards rushing through 3 quarters against a Miami of Ohio team that went 1-11 last year. There were lots of bad snaps that got UF out of their rhythm but you know what, Addazio is the OL coach too so that's also his responsibility. Addazio handcuffed Tim Tebow as much as you can handcuff Superman last season and now we're seeing even more tangibly why you never see OL coaches promoted to OC. Or as the old adage goes, Never hire a football coach with a Z in his name. Always hire a basketball coach with 2 Z's in his name. Meyer meanwhile is a fantastic program manager, the best in the business - he's perfected what Bobby Bowden pioneered - but he is like Bowden a terrible gameday coach and needs coordinators with A) the brains to call a good gameplan and B) the balls to stand up to Meyer when he panics. Addazio has neither and Meyer needs to realize that.
Mike Locksley, New Mexico - former Ron Zook assistant somehow got a head coaching job at UNM last season and led them to a 1-11 record amidst allegations of sexual discrimination and a 10 day suspension for punching an assistant coach. He's picked up right where he left off, with a 72-0 humiliation by Oregon which was 59-0 at the half before Chip Kelly took his foot off the gas.
Ron Zook, Illinoise - Yes, it sometimes seems just too easy to put him on here and sometimes it seems like he has to fail extra-spectacularly to be nominated but I think at the start of the season, we need to remind ourselves just how bad he is and that if this seemingly pedestrian performance were from anyone else, it would have certainly landed them a nomination. Illinois led Mizzou 13-3 at the half and had controlled the game for the entire first half, moved the ball well, and had shut down a Missouri team that had to kick its starting RB off the team earlier in the week because of sexual assault charges. Then of course Ron Zook came out in the second half in his patented prevent offense (they gained all of 85 yards the second half) and prevent defense (Mizzou's QB had 167 of his 281 yards passing in the second half) and Mizzou won going away, 23-13.
Turner Gill, Kansas - Lost 6-3 to division 1-AA North Dakota State in his debut. Can I get a judgement from people - does Kansas qualify as good enough for this to be automatic under the Hawkins-Carr clause? They did lose their final 7 games last year but still, no one expected this. I would lean toward making this automatic.
Post additional nominations in the comments section and we'll discuss this week. I find it unlikely that either of the coaches tomorrow night will end up on Zookwatch but its definitely one of the games of the season so check out Boise St. vs VT - you'll probably see a clinic on how not to end up here, lol! I'm on record as going out on a limb and picking Boise St. to win the national title but this is definitely going to be their biggest test, on the road basically against another top 10 and well-coached team! I'll hopefully catch the second half at a bar after I land in Minneapolis!
We have till Thurs to make our final awards this week because of the late game and since we're getting a late start on just getting back!
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